Sunday, February 14, 2010

Invite for Garry


As you may know, GazFest 2010 will be taking place this coming Monday and I'm writing to encourage every one of you to attend. This year's celebration will be of particular significance because the good folks from the Guinness Book of World Records will be in attendance to certify Garry as the Oldest Person Ever. They've even created a new number for him since there isn't actually a number that goes that high. His new number, in his honor, will be called Gazooogle (notice the third 'o' in the number, this was done as an indication of just how large the number is). Hopefully Richard will be in attendance since he's pretty smart and may actually know what the previous largest number used to be until Garry became older this year, necessitating the creation of Gazooogle.

The activities will start off in the morning with the ceremonial parade up Mt. Diablo (ask Garry what it was like before it was actually a Mt. It's a pretty cool story), after which we'll all gather at Garry's house to use up all his towels, clog his toilets, and eat everything in sight. Actually, the food part is great because Garry's better half (no, not his ass!), puts together quite a spread. Oh, and to make Garry feel young again, we call it lunch even though meal time is much closer to his normal 4pm dinner time.

Entertainment will include, but is not limited to:
1. Story time during which Garry tells us what it was like to hang out with Jesus before he got into the cross bearing business.

2. Nap time. Actually, this is pretty much all day long for Garry.

3. A Bridge tournament. I have no idea what Bridge is, but apparently it's all the rage at the local AARP.

4. "What's My Name" No, this isn't a dirty game, this is a fun one where we tell Garry our names and then see how long it takes him to ask us who we all are and what the hell are we doing in his house. Currently Gaz is on a 5 minute cycle.

5. Prune Tag. Kinda like dodgeball, except with stewed prunes. Don't worry about the mess, his guard dog usually cleans up most of it.

And many, many more fun games. You'll see.

BTW, note that the ride is on 2/15, not 2/14 so don't write back with any of those Valentines Day BS excuses. Pay Hallmark on Sunday, ride on Monday. Also, I've taken the liberty of having all local rides by all clubs, teams, and random groups of people, canceled so as to allow for the greatest possible attendance figures. This means that nobody has any other ride plans, so don't come at me with that one either cuz it's a lie. Most importantly, Monday is President's Day, and since Gaz is the Prez of the team, I believe it's some sort of Federal law that you MUST celebrate the day with the Prez. Finally, you wouldn't miss your Grandparent's birthday, would you? No? Well good. Garry is at least twice as old as them, so you should be twice as likely to show up for his birthday.

Thanks, and see you Monday!


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