At my place of work, several things are used as status symbols: reserved parking spaces, the size of your cubicle or, should you be high enough on the shitheap, the size of your office, the type of chair you sit in, and most recently, the type of monitor you stare at on a daily basis. In the beginning, the monitor was nothing more than a tool with which you read emails and checked out non-Christian websites when nobody was looking. Now, however, the appearance of an LCD monitor on your desk mean that you were more than the average paycheck-earning grunt. You were special. You had power, and chances are that you had more than one plebe with his or her nose firmly affixed to your chocolate starfish. This is great because the monitor has created a little bit of inter-office jealousy. My group was the first to get them. We bought lots. The artsy-fartsy fucks in the Artsy-Fartsy department were pissed. They wanted them too. Well, they got them. And they were smaller than what they started with. Jackasses. Now that they have them, my group has gotten the go-ahead to get bigger ones, and twice as many. Will this mess ever end?